Friday, March 30, 2007

Competition - Name the most-botched film scene

There has been an outbreak of competitions in our small corner of the blogosphere.. As light relief from the recent pistols at dawn stuff, I thought I'd contribute one of my own.

Look at the picture on the left. What is it ? A Hubble image of some tear in the space-time fabric ?
No, it's Sauron's eye from Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy. It's what Frodo sees in the palantir (Seeing Stone) which so terrifies him. The Dark Lord is seeking him out, ready to dispatch his Black Riders.

Except in the film, it looks more like an exploding button hole, and, later, something different again, like a conflagration on stilts.

Now there's an awful lot that Jackson got right in that film. I for one used to doubt that any film could ever do it justice. But that pyrotechnic "eye" ..... !

Please, Peter, set up a post-production studio with one or two of your computer whizz kids. Do it again. Get it right. Create an eye that fixes one, and makes the blood run cold.

Now look at the small B/W picture on the right ? Recognize the film ? It's of course "Ice cold in Alex". The title refers to that goal of arriving at a particular bar in wartime Alexandria, and downing an ice-cold lager. But first there are hundreds of miles of desert to cross, trying to avoid German patrols. Remember that heart-breaking scene, where they push the conked-out truck to the top of the sand dune, start arguing about something, while unbeknown to them the truck rolls all the way back down again.

Finally they do make it to Alexandria, and to that bar, and what happens? The barman shoots the lager straight into the glass, and hands Anthony Quayle (?) a load of froth !

How could they have committed such desecration ? The lager should have been poured with loving care . We should have seen a haze of condensation appear on the glass. Quayle should have taken a deep draught of cool refreshing lager, and not have to fight his way through warm froth.

So, which scenes in a film would you most like to see re-done ? Answers on a postcard please, or the equivalent, which has to be an email to . Sorry, I've felt it necessary to block the Comments facility for reasons already stated.
PS Brief update on the fisticuffs. I see on another blog a comment from Bill Taylor, chameleon journalist/blogger, aka James Hamilton and Lacombe Lucien in previous incarnations. He says I am "no longer denying being RCMP". For once, the man is correct. And I am no longer denying being Albert Einstein, Jesus Christ or Mickey Mouse. For more about Bill Taylor, see Shane Richmond's current post (Readers Write) to which I have just posted "Taking people for a ride".