Monday, July 23, 2007

Own up ! Which of you has gone and annoyed God again ?

B&Q reports big rush for its Noah's Ark self-assembly kits (NB 1 cubit = 45.72 cm)
Humour (?)

Apologies for the flippant tone of today's post. I do not wish to make light of the distress that many are presently experiencing back in the UK. To watch an unstoppable wall of water invade one's home must be traumatic and heartbreaking. But inevitably there are those who exploit these natural disasters for their own purposes, and I do not just mean the looters or cowboy tradesmen.
Today's 'Speaker's Corner in the Telegraph asked the curious question: "What can be done to save Summer 2007 ?" . My first contribution was serious, but then some religious tubthumper by the name of "David" (David Icke ?) suggested it was all Divine punishment. That drew a quick riposte from the eloquent David Llewellyn, followed close on his heels by my own:
David writes (10.44am) : "I believe that God has had enough of this once great Christian nation's slide into godlessness, selfishness, greedy materialism, and immorality, and that this is his way of saying it."

David may be getting his instructions any day now, from on high, about building a Mark II Ark. He'd better start googling "cubits", before the servers get swamped, and get some doves trained up in homing techniques.

Special plea: ignore instructions to take two of every species, David. Leave behind the grey squirrels, mosquitoes, vampire bats, all viruses and unfriendly bacteria.

If my reading of Creationism is correct, Noah may have decided unilaterally, so to speak, to leave behind the dinosaurs and pterodactyls.


Gigi said...

Hmm - I don't think that could have been David Icke, Colin. He believes the world is ruled by reptiles. Then again, many reptiles are at home in water so...he could have a point, you know...

ColinB said...

I had managed to avoid researching David Icke up till now, but have just spent 5 minutes looking at his Wikipedia entry. My jaw had to be retrieved from the floor before writing this.

You are of course right what you say about those reptiles, Gigi, the ones called Illuminati who, according to Icke, keep morphing into plausible-looking humans like Harold Wilson, George W Bush etc.

I blame it on his spell with the BBC - it's enough to make anyone lose their grip on reality.

Do you know how he got started on his Dr.Who fantasies ? It came about through an initial encounter with a medium. She said he had healing powers, and that the evil world was destined to be cleansed with earthquakes and ... tidal waves.

Well, it's all starting to make sense now. What's happening in the Severn and Thames valleys is just the beginning, you know. Better start building those Arks now !